I'm not sure about how my life is going right now. My grades are failing, at the end of this semester I'll only be passing 2 out of 5 classes. Which does not make me feel good about myself at all, but I'm just so sick of school! I'm sick of routine, and blah, blah, blah!
My plan is to work, I don't have a job, but I AM GOING TO GET ONE. I'm going to work for a year, and then I'm moving to Oregon. Bandon, Oregon to be exact and I'm taking you with me, Pig. Bri says she wants to go with us, but I know she won't. She wants to finish her degree in Nursing and she's thinking about moving to Provo...blah, blah, blah.
I'm done with school! I'm done with...not living! I'm going to live and be proud and do things and learn a non-conventional way. I'll experience real-life. I'll have hardships and I'll pay bills like rent and utilities and I'll be okay. I'll take care of myself. No, I'll take care of us. We'll have fun in Bandon, Pig, we will. We'll live there for, I'm thinking, seven months. Then we'll come home and stay awhile, and then we'll move again. South Carolina? I'm fine with that. Let's move to Charleston and get a little beach house. That will be beautiful.
Bri is basically my only friend now, besides you of course. But you're a cat.... Anyway, Hal moved and so did Nay. I'm not very good at keeping up with them. I just feel so...detached. I don't know. My relationship will always be complicated with Nay. Mike hates me and I know she'll stay with him forever. She's coming home for the month of May and I can guarantee she'll spend most of her time with him. Like always. Whatever, I guess. I'm nearly to the point of indifference. I kind of...back off from people who leave me. Is that weird? That's one reason why I'm scared for Nich to leave. I can't lose my baby brother!
I'm writing again, Pig. I love it so much! If only I had a true gift of writing...now wouldn't that be something! I could be unstoppable! :) Just kidding. I just wish I could just pull out descriptions and beautiful poetry from no where, but I can't in the words of an ex-friend, Andrew, I'm "just not creative enough." He was such an ass. I liked him for like a year, and I'm still trying to figure out why...? I have no bloody clue.
I'm still not going to church. I want to have that desire, I really do. But. I. Just. Don't. Want. To. I'm awful. Really. Sometimes I tell heavenly father to just kill me and throw me into outer darkness because I'm somewhat of a lost cause.
Pig! I learned how to french braid! Oh I love France! But anyway! French braiding. It is as hard as it looks. My brain could comprehend it, but my fingers just did not! Finally I got it, and today I learned a way to twist my hair, creating a crown like look all the way around my head. I really like it, but I still need a lot of practice. I know it will be cute once I get it down.
Well, it is rather late. 3 AM. Or early to some people I guess.
I love you, Pig.
xoxo
Jamessays.
P.s. The picture is of Bandon, Oregon. :)
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